I know i have to change. i have to take away the feelings i had. no.. not feelings.. expectations.
they are not the most important people in my life now, if i try to hold on to them then im going to lose more chances at love and happiness.
and i cant always depend on them being there, because i know that they dont have the same feelings about me.
I always put them before him.. and i think thats partly why we grew apart.. i remember many heated conversations where he would say he didnt understand my love of them..
and now i see where he was coming from..

i am going to change it.

time will change me.. and i will work with time.

this year has been reallyreally odd.

i think it might get better though.